Cinema: In Stitches

THE PROMISE Directed by Gilbert Gates Screenplay by Garry Michael White

Here is yet another silly Hollywood soap opera about a damaged heroine. In this variation on the theme, pert young Nancy (Kathleen Quinlan) goes through the windshield of a car headfirst on her way to marry earnest young Michael (Stephen Collins). The prognosis is not good. Nancy requires 90 stitches, and, as her doctor points out, "there's not an awful lot left under those stitches." Is there a plastic surgeon in the house?

Well, lo and behold, there is. Unfortunately, he costs $100,000, and the heroine apparently doesn't have Blue Cross. Enter Michael's wicked witch of a wealthy mother (Beatrice Straight), wearing more eyelashes than all the Gabors combined. Mom doesn't like Nancy because Nancy's Dad, long deceased, was once an armed robber. But Mom will fork over the hundred grand if Nancy agrees to stay away from Michael for ever. The pact is sealed, and Nancy gets some new flesh to go with her stitches. With the help of a shrink, she even man ages to keep her head while losing her face. That would be that, but ... Enter "the promise." Earlier in the film, Michael had given Nancy a vow: "I promise I'll never say goodbye to you." Now how can Michael never say goodbye to Nancy if he can't even find her to say hello? Intrepid moviegoers will have to experience the startling resolution of this dilemma for themselves. -F.R.