SURPLUS PROPERTY: A Swell Thing

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Senator Hatch shifted, smiled disarmingly, and said: "Why don't you tell the truth when it would serve you and your associates so much better?"

"Senator," said Waxey, just as chummily, "I have told you the truth. Every time I give you an answer, you give me a little smile as if to say: 'You're kidding me.' You know, Senator, when you smile that way, so polite, so 100% gentleman, then I watch you."

After two hours, Waxey Gordon had filled 28 pages of testimony with nothing. The committee then decided to let the Department of Justice continue the investigation of Waxey. Wearily, Senator James M. Mead waved him from the stand, warning: "We are going to ... keep out all rackets and chiseling in connection with the sale of these goods."

"I agree with you, Senator," said Waxey. "I fully agree with you."