Americana: Stirring Up Trouble

"We do it all for you," sings McDonald's cheery jingle every day on television and radio. But lately the company has discovered that it is doing more than it chooses for some people it would rather ignore: coke users. And not the ones who drink out of bottles. Those little plastic coffee stirrers that McDonald's gives out with its cups of coffee—the ones with the tiny spoons on the ends—are being used by cocaine sniffers who cannot af ford the silver spoons affected by the beautiful people.

Although McDonald's claims it is not embarrassed by the discovery, the burger giant (30 billion sold to date) admits it is redesigning the coffee stirrers so they can be used only by sippers, not snorters.