Dial M for Money

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The notion of phones as fashion has not escaped well-known clothing designers. A line bearing the signature of Pierre Cardin has already appeared, and Geoffrey Beene is also at work on telephonic conceptions. So far, the reception has not been entirely enthusiastic. Says Edward Alter, co-owner of Phone City: "Cardin should go back to making clothes."

American Bell is pushing the idea of phones in the bathroom. In its promotional material, the company observes, "Anybody who has dashed fresh from the shower to answer a ringing telephone can understand the value of a bathroom telephone." But it also notes that since phones use electricity, they should not be used when the caller is wet.

A yellow Pac-Man phone ($69.95) has proved popular with children, as have giant phones modeled after Mickey Mouse, Snoopy and Winnie-the-Pooh that sell for $149 to $189. Additional novelty phones include one that looks like a duck and quacks like a duck when it rings; another, shaped like a football, gives off a referee's whistle.

For people who still prefer function over form, American Bell earlier this month introduced a pair of new phones utilizing microprocessor technology that offers features of genuine value. The Touch-a-matic 1600 ($150), available in some stores in March, has flat key pads that are touched rather than pushed, a calculator-like display that shows the number being called, and a twelve-number memory that allows frequently called numbers to be rung with the press of a single digit. The Genesis ($350; available in May) comes with optional cartridges that can turn it into a small computer. One cartridge permits the automatic redialing of busy numbers, another serves as an electronic padlock to prevent the unauthorized placing of long-distance calls, and a third will store appointments, important dates or anything else.

Dazzling? Certainly. Expensive? That too. Bewildering? Probably. The frenetic activity in the telephone industry may make some yearn for simpler days when phones had cranks and switching was handled by a woman you could talk to. —By Alexander L. Taylor III. Reported by Frederick Ungeheuer/New York and Don Winbush/Chicago