Show Business: What's at the Paris Bijou?

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To stimulate a mass taste for the Gallic product, Toscan du Plantier's company is planning a February release of one of its biggest hits, La Boum, which can be compared to the Gidget movies that appealed to American teen-agers in the '60s. Similar films will follow, all dubbed into English, and by the end of 1983, there will be, inevitably, something called La Boum II. By 1984, presumably, Toscan du Plantier will know whether he has a La Boum III or Le Bust.

The MOST OF 1982

The Longest Phone Call: E.T.'s desperate message to an area code 3 million light-years away, which was followed by millions and led to the year's catchiest phrase, "E.T., phone home."

The Loudest Crash: Francis Coppola's One from the Heart, which cost $26 million, grossed $ 1.2 million, and is the undisputed winner of this year's Heaven's Gate award.

The Most Grandiose Astronomical Event: The Night of 100 Stars, which brought 204 stars to the stage of Radio City Music Hall in a benefit for the Actors' Fund, and lasted a numbing 5½ hours.

The Longest Wait: For NBC, perennially last in the ratings, to turn itself around under its new board chairman, Grant Tinker, who has sought to succeed with something rarely seen on commercial TV, high-quality programming.

The Most Ubiquitous Actor: Sir John Gielgud, 78, who has appeared in e verything from Gandhi and Brideshead Revisited to commercials for New York City's Inter-Continental Hotel and Paul Masson wines.

The Reddest Face: That belonging to Ray Stark, who produced, and overproduced, the movie version of Annie, which was supposed to be a box-office bonanza but barely covered its $52 million production and marketing costs.

The Hottest Read: David McClintick's Indecent Exposure, which told in absorbing detail the sordid story of the David Begelman affair and which all of Hollywood read in Xerox weeks before it appeared in print.

The Most Tragic Waste: The senseless death of John Belushi, 33, from a drug overdose, which silenced one of the best comic talents of his generation.

The Happiest Lady: Raquel Welch, who followed Lauren Bacall as Woman of the Year and broke all box-office records at Broadway's Palace Theater.

The Longest-Running Show: The British monarchy, which proved, with the long-awaited birth of Prince William, the break-in at Buckingham Palace and the much publicized escapades of Prince Andrew, that the glitter never fades from that sceptered isle.