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Great Leapin' Lizards! Michael Jordan Can't Actually Fly

; Election night, 1988. In a darkened Madison Square Garden, a murmur of anticipation ripples through the standing-room-only crowd. On the floor below, the guest of honor stands, head bent, a bit overwhelmed and maybe a bit embarrassed by the spectacle. "Ladies and gentlemen," booms a voice as the spotlight rakes the now cheering audience, "No. 23, Miiichaaael Jooordaaan!" As one, the 19,591 men, women and children rise to pay thunderous tribute to . . .

To what? Has the Chicago Bulls' star been traded to the host New York Knickerbockers? Nice dream, if you're a New Yorker; nightmare, if a...

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