Direct Mail: Read This!!!!!!!!

Does your hand clutch reflexively for the wastebasket when you encounter an invitation for a "21-day free trial period"? Do you feel a numbing sensation when confronted by a hysterical series of !!!!! or uppercased exhortations: THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!!!! ONLY YOU CAN HELP!!!!! ORDER NOW!!!!! ? Have you begun to regard with suspicion bordering on paranoia every piece of mail marked OFFICIAL or V*A*L*U*A*B*L*E D*O*C*U*M*E*N*T*S I*N*S*I*D*E? Do the words "You May Already Have Won . . ." provoke in you an overwhelming desire to nuke the mailman?

THEN DON'T TURN THE PAGE!!! THIS ARTICLE IS SPECIALLY DESIGNED FOR YOU!!! You...