Retailing: Santa Might Get Sick

Don't look to this year's crop of new toys if you're seeking some good, clean fun. Virtually every major manufacturer showing its wares at last week's 89th Toy Fair in Manhattan was accentuating the nauseating.

Hasbro is offering Monster Face, a life-size plastic skull that comes complete with "blistering boil," "nose slime drip" and "quivering bugs and worms." Kids can style it to be as repugnant as possible. Kenner is betting that kids will want to gross out Mom and Dad with Savage Mondo Blitzer characters that come in four-packs with names like Puke Shooters and Chunk Blowers. While ERTL, a respectable die-cast model-car company, is offering ; Blurp Balls -- hideous softball-size spheres, with names like Retch-A-Rat Tomcat, that shoot out revolting objects from their mouths when squeezed.

The dolls aren't much better. The big trend is potty-training accessories, including Hasbro's Cabbage Patch-size toilet with tinkling and flushing sound effects. As for action figures, check out Tyco's Incredible Crash Dummies with detachable limbs. What better way to teach your child auto safety.

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GREGG KEESLING on reports that he received a call from an Army official saying he wasn't eligible to receive a condolence letter from President Obama because his son committed suicide, rather than dying in action

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