The Shows We Won't Be Seeing

1 THE MESSENGER -- Man who lives 15 min. in the future carries helpful messages in holographs implanted in his body.

2 ISLAND GUY -- Pacific-island boy canoes to the U.S. and moves in with yuppies.

3 MUDDLING THROUGH -- Recently paroled woman who has shot her husband returns to work at her family's madcap cafe.

4 HOT & BOTHERED -- Improbable circumstances force a model to live with a lame-brain auto mechanic.

5 FIRST FAMILY -- Zany Neanderthals.

What if TV programming executives were even less discriminating than we think they are? We might have ended up seeing the listings...