Russia: Vladimir Zhirinovsky Beat

Vladimir Zhirinovsky, Russia's top ultranationalist, protected a very private part of himself last week -- and issued a syntactically garbled threat to journalists:

Monday: Claimed in an interview with David Frost that Bill Clinton "would like to be the one ruler in the world" and said, "without dictatorship you could not rule my country" ... Tuesday: Warned a Russian reporter, "Every day you slander the country, and then you are surprised that journalists go missing. If you provoke such incidents, they will certainly kill you." Zhirinovsky did not clarify whom he meant by "they" ... Wednesday: Challenged by a Russian newsman to prove that he is uncircumcised, he blushed, saying, "No, no, I can't show, but you can visit my doctors, and they know all my organism by observation, and they can all testify that there is no circumcision. Or, I am ready to show a commission of objective doctors from Israel and the U.S." ... Friday: Richard Nixon, just back from Moscow, described Zhirinovsky as "shrewd" and a "holy fool."

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MARTHA STEWART, when asked about the insider-trading scandal that, by her estimates, cost her company more than a billion dollars

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