Russia: Vladimir Zhirinovsky Beat

Russia's top ultranationalist, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, shared his unique view of world events and was the butt of a holiday joke:

Tuesday: In a far-ranging press conference, he offered to "host the white population" of South Africa because "in autumn massacre will begin"; said "Latvia will be fully incorporated into Russia"; and called charges that conspirators were planning a coup to install him in the Kremlin "absolutely right." He also admitted "one small hobby": "I do not breed fish or collect stamps. But I have that special thing for border posts let us move those posts out to their old places." Friday: A Russian newspaper reported that a group of Freemasons had kidnapped Zhirinovsky and hacked off his tongue. The story was an April Fool's Day prank.