Russia: Vladimir Zhirinovsky Beat

Tuesday: Attended a Council of Europe parliamentary meeting in Strasbourg, where he complained about the limited visa he'd been given. He told fellow parliament members, "You are not democrats, you are agents of the CIA." He hurled clumps of tulips at student protesters and boasted that his singular political style is "in key" with the Russian people: "It's like in sexual relations," he explained. "You have to be in harmony." Wednesday: Was said by a Russian newspaper to have filed suit against local political opponents who, he claimed, had insulted his dignity and honor. Thursday: Accused European Council members of stealing his hat -- a fisherman's cap -- from a guarded cloakroom. Friday: Revealed that "World War III started on April 11, when NATO bombed Bosnian Serbs. This date must be remembered for future historic references." The bombing actually began on April 10.