Ready Or Not, Here They Come

The 52-game, 24-team World Cup soccer tournament opens in Chicago on June 17. But the off-the-field action has already begun:

VIP-Lock: So many dignitaries, including Germany's Helmut Kohl and possibly Bill Clinton, are expected to pass though Chicago during the Cup that Rosalie Clark, city chief of protocol, says she has ordered a bunch of spare keys to the city: "I had only four left."

No Sex, Please, We're Brazilian: Brazilians have spent the past several weeks arguing about whether their team should have sex while in America (the debate isn't about safety; it's about on-field performance). When soccer legend Pele weighed in on the pro-sex side, coach Carlos Parreira, who had said spouses could not accompany the team, changed his mind: "We are not going to lose the Cup because of sex."

Hold the Ribs: Ever the thoughtful hosts, organizers of the games in Dallas have located a West African grocer who has promised to provide hotel room service for the Nigerian team.

We're Not Cocky, But . . . : More than a year before the final, the Germans, ever self-assured, booked themselves a 300-room hotel in Los Angeles to be near the Rose Bowl, the site of the championship game.

Souvenirs: For the first time, a World Cup game will be played indoors. But grass will be placed over the artificial turf of Detroit's Silverdome. Organizers hope not-so-soccer-mad Americans will want to buy chunks of the grass at the end of the games.

No Change of Socks, Please, We're Colombian: Ninety thousand dollars' worth of brand-new uniforms ordered by the Colombian team from an outfitter in Manchester, England, were stolen before they arrived in Cali.