MINNESOTA'S SENSIBLE PLAN

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By 2006, Lake Superior will be gone, and its islands will be wooded buttes rising above the fertile coulees of the basin. A river will run through it, the Riviera River, and great glittering casinos like the Corn Palace, the Voyageur, the Big Kawishiwi, the Tamarack Sands, the Clair de Loon, the Sileaux, the Garage Mahal, the Glacial Sands, the Temple of Denture, the Golden Mukooda will lie across the basin like diamonds in a dish. Family-style casinos, with theme parks and sensational water rides on the rivers cascading over the north rim, plus high-rise hotels and time-share condominiums. Currently there are no building restrictions in Lake Superior; developers will be free to create high-rises in the shape of grain elevators, casinos shaped like casserole dishes, accordions, automatic washers. Celebrities will flock to the canyon. You'll see guys on the Letterman show who, when Dave asks, "Where you going next month, pal?" will say, "I'll be in Minnesota, Dave, playing four weeks at the Pokegama." Tourism will jump 1,000%. Guys on the red-eye from L.A. to New York will look out and see a blaze of light off the left wing and ask the flight attendant, "What's that?" And she'll say, "Minnesota, of course."

What will Minnesota's vast wealth and pre-eminence mean for the rest of the country?

Almost nothing but good. Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can find excellent cappuccino and Thai food and great bookstores yet live on a quiet, treelined street and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody. Of course, there is bound to be resentment. But in the end, our prosperity will benefit everyone.

The media will be transformed as Minnesota buys up networks and cable companies. News will be less about politics and more about civilization--history, art, literature and sweet corn. And creamed onions. The movie business, as Minnesota buys major studios, will start to make pictures in which snow occurs as a normal part of life. Movies in which there is less machine gunning and car bombing and more scenes in which people enjoy a good meal and tell jokes.

The Superior Canyon project can help bring the country to its senses, putting a big chunk of the economy into the hands of modest and sensible people, people who have been through some hard winters and are the better for it. But winter isn't the only reason Minnesotans are as good as they are; it's also because of something in the drinking water. Try some and you'll see. That's why the lake was named Superior.