FERGIE, SKY, NO DIAMONDS Jewelry heists haven't the cachet they once had. When the Duchess of York, SARAH FERGUSON, lost a diamond necklace and bracelet somewhere between J.F.K. and Heathrow airports, the FBI and British Airways tracked them down to a shed belonging to Gilbert Terrero, a J.F.K. baggage handler who is possibly in need of a subscription to PEOPLE. The Terrero family claims Gilbert, who was arrested, found the gems and didn't know whose they were. Opined sister Wanda: "I wore nicer jewelry for my Sweet 16."

TAKING ON THE FAMILY BUSINESS

If Aaron Spelling were a barber, young RANDY SPELLING would be sweeping hair by now. As it is, the 17-year-old found a Beverly Hills, 90210 script he liked, asked his producer dad who the casting director was and somehow got the part. "The nepotism talk is going to be around," admits Randy, who adds that non-Spellings on the show liked his performance too. "They said they might bring my character back." Any chance of a romance with Donna, played by sister Tori? "I hope not."

BAD? WELL, NOT GOOD, ANYWAY

Two days before a highly publicized concert that despite featuring mimes was supposed to give a much needed shot in the arm to his career, it was MICHAEL JACKSON himself who was getting medical help. The singer collapsed while rehearsing and was rushed to the hospital, where his doctors diagnosed a viral infection; diarrhea had led to severe dehydration, which in turn caused an irregular heartbeat and dangerously low blood pressure. Wife Lisa Marie, sister Janet and mother Katherine rushed to the star's bedside, but it wouldn't be the Jackson family without sniping from LaToya, who first intimated that her brother might be faking it but, on hearing the doctors' reports, reversed herself. The concert was postponed, and Jackson's condition was improving, thanks clearly in part to the posters of Shirley Temple, Walt Disney and Topo Gigio that were brought to his room. Meanwhile, the besieged hospital set up a hotline with a taped message detailing Jackson's condition, updated daily and offering an opportunity for the word stable to be used in describing him.