TELEVISION: EVERYBODY'S A WINNER!

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FOR CONNOISSEURS OF TV AWARDS shows, the three-hour Golden Globes special on NBC last week had a kind of maddening purity. No splashy production numbers; no boring humanitarian awards for 80-year-old studio executives; not even a host to kick off the evening. Just the opening credits and--bam!--awards, awards, awards.

The nominees, stars from both movies and television, nearly all showed up, sitting at crowded banquet tables in the Beverly Hilton Hotel. And unlike the Oscars and Tonys, the orchestra did not (most of the time) spoil the party by cutting short the acceptance speeches; at the Golden Globes, everybody gets to thank everybody. Sharon Stone, a Best Actress winner for Casino, spent a full three minutes thanking her co-stars, director, several Universal executives, her parents, publicist, hair and makeup people and "the girls at Chaos [her production company]: Paulette, Mindy and Kristen." Backstage with Dick Clark, she had more: "I forgot to mention Nick Pileggi!"

The Golden Globes' well-rated return to network TV (after years on cable and syndication) was something of a milestone in TV's awards-show mania. Little more than a decade ago, the big four--the Oscars, Tonys, Emmys and Grammys--pretty much had the field to themselves. Now it seems as though every Hollywood interest group, craft union and country-music association has its own awards--and a TV special to trumpet them. More than 30 awards shows will be seen on national TV this year, and the high season is just beginning: 10 of them will be crowded into the eight weeks between now and the Academy Awards telecast on March 25.

The statuettes keep piling up, no doubt a boon to the electroplating industry. For viewers who think the Oscars are too elitist, there's the People's Choice Awards, chosen by a Gallup poll of moviegoers. For those who find the Oscars too mainstream, there's the Independent Spirit Awards, recognizing films made outside the studio system. The Screen Actors Guild has its own televised awards show, and so does the Blockbuster video/music chain. There are awards for sports stars (the ESPYS), for outstanding African Americans (the Essence Awards) and for well-dressed rock musicians (VH1's Fashion & Music Awards). There are even awards for giving awards: Ellen DeGeneres was named Funniest Female Performer in a Television Special at last year's American Comedy Awards--for her performance at the previous year's Emmys.

One reason for their popularity is that awards shows are filling a gap left by the old TV variety shows. With Ed Sullivan, Danny Kaye, Dean Martin and their ilk gone, awards galas are pretty much the only place in prime time where viewers can see splashy musical numbers, stars being "themselves" in a relatively spontaneous setting--and a (dubious) picture of show business as one big happy family. These shows can also be fun. "It's the only live thing on television where you'll see the unexpected," says Dick Clark. "People wait to see somebody's dress fall down, a stumble, a bumble, a faux pas. That's the sadistic part of all of us." Clark has his own sadistic streak: he's the producer of no fewer than six awards shows, including the Golden Globes, this week's American Music Awards on abc and the Academy of Country Music Awards, airing in April on NBC.