FRACTURED FAIRY TALE

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It became clear, however, that the magnet was Diana--accepting flowers, flirting with soldiers, falling asleep in public while pregnant or simply smiling. The Prince is an attractive enough chap, but notably unphotogenic. The camera worshiped his wife, and he became jealous.

After a while it became hard to find any shots of the Prince and Princess of Wales together. In 1987 enterprising royals watchers figured out that between Sept. 16 and Oct. 27 of that year, they were completely apart. In the various confessionals written by partisans in the '90s, both partners emphasize that their miseries began early and speak of important misgivings before the ceremony even took place.

Charles became alarmed about Diana's mood swings, her frequent tears and her obsession with his old mistress, Camilla Parker Bowles. But Diana was right. Charles had no heart to give her. It, along with a certain amount of sentimental jewelry, belonged to Camilla. Diana called her sisters to lunch just before the wedding and asked them if she might still get out of it. "Your face is on the tea towels, so it's too late to chicken out now," was the famous reply. The pity is that the bride could not ask the groom about whether they had any future together; they didn't know each other well enough.

Still, the gossamer wedding, the fairy tale's foundation in reality, was a joyous event. Charles was happy because he thought he was pleasing his parents, particularly his father. Diana was happy because she had just received a buck-up note from Charles. He wrote of his pride in her and went on to give her some advice: "Just look 'em in the eye and knock 'em dead."

It seems cruel to the rest of the royal family to point out that she did, and has been doing so ever since. The pretty girl became the woman who, in addition to being media magic, was embarking on a voyage of self-discovery. She learned that she could detect and respond to suffering. Increasingly, her public work concentrated on the sick and the troubled. When she offered an aids victim her ungloved hand, she advanced the cause of tolerance immeasurably.

With gestures like that, she became a walking riposte to the palace, with its narrow, dated code of royal behavior. As has been pointed out many times, she was, if anything, a throwback to the Queen Mother, with her common touch and effortless rapport with ordinary people. When senior courtiers tried to limit Diana or downgrade her, they just looked pompous.

What the Panorama interview made plain was that in ministering to the needy, Diana was helping herself. She had lost her emotional roots as a child of six when her mother bolted from Earl Spencer. Later, confronted with a shell of a marriage, Diana threw her enormous energies into the world of therapy. Often without publicity, she worked with battered wives and abused children.