People, Apr. 29, 1996

THE PRINCE AND HIS LAST DUCHESS

Perhaps because royal marriages begin so grandly, their endings always seem a bit pathetic, more fizz than bang. So it was that last Wednesday, 27 reporters and a civilian were the only ones present when the names of SARAH FERGUSON, Duchess of York, and PRINCE ANDREW, Duke of York, were on the list of 29 couples granted a decree nisi (a.k.a. a "quickie divorce") in a three-minute ceremony. The prince was holed up in his navy barracks, and the duchess was smothering her sadness in the snows of Switzerland, accompanied by daughters BEATRICE, 7 and EUGENIE, 6. "Of course, it's sad," she told reporters. Although she added that the duke and she were "the bestest of friends," by all accounts it was she who, after four years of separation, pushed for the divorce. It couldn't have been for money. The $3 million she got was mostly earmarked for the care of the children, leaving her in a nasty debt hole. (She's said to owe at least that.) While this settlement from a son of England's richest family would make American divorce lawyers choke, Andrew isn't that wealthy, earning about $420,000 a year, from which he has to pay his staff. And the public has a lot less sympathy for Fergie than for Diana, partly because of Fergie's carefree, sometimes careless ways (and not least because she let a Texan suck her toes). The duchess has promised not to write a tell-all, but children's books are allowed. All in all, the second divorce among the Queen's children looks to be as amicable as the first. Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips (remember him?) live near each other and, though both remarried, share parenting. Now for that third split ...

USING THE INNER CHILD

Children's book writing is becoming the new arrow in the celebrity quiver. This spring brings the debut of several children's authors, including playwright WENDY WASSERSTEIN, radio host Garrison Keillor and New Age guru MARIANNE WILLIAMSON. Jamie Lee Curtis' and TIM BURTON's next books are due out in the fall; and Julie Andrews (pen name: Julie Edwards) and RICKI LAKE both have publishers expecting manuscripts. Why children's books? "I think it's a boomer thing--a group of people recapturing their youth," says Wasserstein, whose book is about a girl's first theater visit. Plus, they're easier than autobiographies, although the inspiration for most of them is plain. Lake's book is about a fat girl; Burton's is about a boy who pretends to be Vincent Price; and Williamson's title is Emma & Mommy Talk to God. Let's hope Keillor's book isn't too autobiographical. It's about a man who likes really smelly cheese.

MAGIC IN HOT WATER