"IT HURTS SO MUCH"

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Stuart Sundlun, a former lover and friend who went to the Bahamas with Hemingway in June, says she grappled with a raft of difficulties: "fundamental middle-child syndrome...dyslexia, bulimia, epilepsy." And there was alcoholism. In 1987, following a severe seizure during which she nearly bit her tongue off, Hemingway admitted herself to the Betty Ford Clinic. "I decided that had been a message to get well or I would die," she told an interviewer. But she did not confide to her therapists that she also was bulimic. Hemingway always struggled with her weight. In 1990 she slimmed down and posed for Playboy in one of many efforts to jump-start her career. But the following year she filed for bankruptcy, citing more than $815,000 in debt.

She sought spiritual guidance in a visit to the Dalai Lama in 1994. After returning, she spent several weeks at a state mental hospital in Blackfoot, Idaho. Sundlun says she suffered "a psychotic event" brought on by her epilepsy. She had difficulty separating fantasy from reality and was hearing voices.

Recently Hemingway was reduced to taking parts in low-budget pictures, making guest appearances at European conventions and even endorsing the Psychic Friends Network. But she also acted as host of a nature series to be aired on the Discovery Channel this fall. Friends hoped she was rallying. "She didn't get a fair deck of cards," Sundlun says sadly. "But she handled it with incredible grace and dignity. She was a light touch in a dark world."