WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

It would be nice to go on a vacation where I didn't have to worry about being ripped limb from limb by some big ursine slob. But there it is, at any trailhead worth carting your trail mix up to--the National Park Service sign saying CAUTION, YOU ARE ENTERING BEAR COUNTRY. Abandon greasy foods and perfumes, all ye who enter here! Or: Bye-bye, rule of law; hello, natural selection!

All right, I know the ecologically correct line: "They won't bother you if you don't bother them." But who knows what bothers a bear? Take that fellow who was innocently jogging in...