TO BE OR NOT TO BE...WHATEVER

(2 of 5)

Tobacco companies took several hard hits, but it did not matter. Richard Kluger's Ashes to Ashes, a comprehensive condemnation of the industry, was published. Liggett and Meyers settled a lawsuit--the first time ever for a tobacco company. A former Brown & Williamson executive turned whistle-blower. The life of Victor Crawford, a former tobacco lobbyist, came to an end from cancer of the throat after he used his final years valiantly lecturing about the evils of smoking. Science proved the direct link between smoking and lung cancer. The end result of such events was that smoking increased among children and young adults.

Liquor advertising sought to return to television; it was said not to matter.

Things that were said to matter included a couple of sexual- harassment cases involving a six-year-old boy in Lexington, North Carolina, and a seven-year-old boy in New York City. Both were accused of harassing girls in their grade by touching and/or kissing them. The seven-year-old kisser's straightforward defense--"because I like her"--was deemed porous.

"I loved you ever, but it is no matter," Hamlet tells Laertes, suggesting that they live in a world where nothing matters.

The celebrated personalities of the year came and went and blurred into one another. Boris Yeltsin became Ted Kaczynski became Princess Di became all three doing the macarena. While one faintly struggled to discern Rene Russo from Sandra Bullock and Michael Eisner from Michael Ovitz, Madonna singled herself out by producing a child. Setting a high financial standard for single motherhood, she exulted, "This is the greatest miracle of my life"--a cry not generally echoed in parts of the country where 48% of the children were born to single mothers. Rosie O'Donnell threw her a baby shower, her pediatrician was madam Heidi Fleiss's father, and her progeny-provider was her personal trainer, who, while deprived of the privileges of Mr. Madonnahood, posed for photos in hopes of a modeling career. Not to be outshone, Michael Jackson also got pregnant.

Hillary was seen but not heard. Roseanne, Rush Limbaugh, Al Sharpton, Joey Buttafuoco and William Bennett were also not heard. Thanks to the continued ministrations of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, a few more people were no longer seen or heard. Calvin Klein was not dressed.

Looming above the year's other personalities like a dazed Colossus was the personality of the past quarter-century, O.J. Simpson, along with his enlarging retinue of lawyers, prosecutors, agents, accusers, defenders, police, forensic experts, talk-show hosts and Faye Resnick. Most of the media decided that there was nothing more important for the public to know about--not Russia, not China, not Iran, not much of the U.S.--than O.J. Those with an interest in history could note that America's involvement with O.J. was nearing the length of its involvement in World War II, which was not covered as thoroughly.

Over the din of his civil trial and the competing dins of the year--the Jackie O. auction, the John Jr. wedding, the royal divorce, Kathie Lee's weeping over sweatshops, the thrice-a-week movie openings, the newer-than-new all-news channels, the introduction of McDonald's Arch Deluxe to North America--rose the word of the decade: whatever.