NOTEBOOK

Monday, Feb. 17, 1997 By JANICE M. HOROWITZ, NADYA LABI, LINA LOFARO, BELINDA LUSCOMBE, EMILY MITCHELL, MEGAN RUTHERFORD AND ALAIN L. SANDERS

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WINNERS & LOSERS

LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING

[WINNERS]

FRANK SINATRA Mia works that old black magic. Next to the Woodman, Ol' Blue Eyes is Mr. Tenderhearted

DIANE BLOOD Can you conceive it? Court clears way for British widow to use dead hubby's sperm

PETER JENNINGS It's not as easy as ABC, as the suave anchor signs up to get hitched for the fourth time

[& LOSERS]

MUFFIN Komodo dragon prepares to mate. If her partner doesn't fancy her, he'll have her for lunch

GENNIFER FLOWERS An affair to regret. She's the First Mistress of a new pay-as-you-go cybersex Website

U.S. POSTAL SERVICE Love is no longer in the air. Necking swans replace the four-letter word on 1997 stamp

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PRODUCTS

Just in time for Valentine's Day, three tools for the truly unlucky in love

DESPERATE 1. The Kissing Machine[TM] $49.95 Sometimes a kiss is more than just a kiss. With the help of this battery-operated gadget, a smooch can be shock therapy too. Connect one set of wires to your stereo, hold one handle each, turn the knobs, kiss and whammo! You complete the circuit, and the electricity really flows. It could cure you of kissing forever.

REALLY DESPERATE 2. Boyfriend In-A-Box[TM] $14.95 Fantasy is the spice of many a relationship, but Cowboy Clint may not be what Dr. Ruth had in mind. He doesn't exist, but his paper trail will make your colleagues think he does: photos, phone messages, even a card to go with the flowers. Clint will love you forever, or you'll get your money back.

LOST CAUSE 3. Tamagotchi[TM] $16 Still craving companionship? The Japanese are flocking to buy Tamagotchi, a digital gadget that doubles as a pet chick. Available soon in the U.S., Tamagotchi (Japanese for cute little egg) hatches onscreen. Owners feed, amuse and clean up after their feathered friend by pressing buttons. If the bird begins to fade away, suspect fowl play. Owner neglect results in Tami's virtual death. Love is cruel.

HEALTH REPORT

THE GOOD NEWS

--Raise another glass to ALCOHOL. One or two drinks a day seem to cut by one-third the risk of developing clogged arteries in the legs--a pain-ful, sometimes dangerous condition that tends to afflict the elderly. Alcohol probably helps legs the same way it helps the heart--by raising good hdl cholesterol.

--A transplant triumph. Nearly 90% of BONE-MARROW-TRANSPLANT patients who survive the procedure are in good health five years later.

--Cutting the risk of BLOOD CLOTS. Patients who have had more than one blood clot can dramatically reduce their chances of getting another by using the anticoagulant Coumadin--provided they stay on it permanently. Today most patients use the thinner just six months.

THE BAD NEWS

--Not a sight for sore eyes. EYEDROPS that claim to get the red out may wind up making eyes even redder. Reason: drops work by constricting blood vessels, but as the medicine wears off, the vessels can react by dilating beyond their original size.