LETTERS

DIANA, PRINCESS OF WALES, 1961-1997

"In Diana we saw our dreams, fantasies and, finally, our worst nightmares come true. We grieve for ourselves as well as for her." SUSAN BIRD Glendale, Calif.

Yes, she was the people's princess, because the people forged her life and, possibly, destroyed it [PRINCESS DIANA, 1961-1997, Sept. 8]. In death, she is free from obligations and vanities. She does not belong to the people any longer. Diana's history is essentially one of human frailty and strength. We should not try to distort its meaning. Our compassion for her should be extended to those whose lives have been deeply affected, even ruined, by the princess's life and death. M.G. DEDE Kingston-on-Thames, England

Diana was addicted to the camera. She was happy when she was in the limelight and unhappy when she was not. She had no self-esteem, and she used the camera as therapy to make herself feel better. Her husband and her children were not her ultimate concern. ELIZABETH DONNELLY Miami Beach

While you paid fitting tribute to Diana, your coverage of her companion Dodi Fayed was appalling. You have surely been unsympathetic to the Fayed family. Contrary to the image you portrayed, Dodi was well thought of and spoken of as a charming and generous person. His family's only apparent crime is that it is not British. PAULA HAFNER Heald Green, England

Self-worth based on beauty is short-lived, as Diana surely realized. She had begun to build a life based on telling hard truths. Our daughters struggle daily with the myth of beauty as they develop their own identities. Last spring, at the first National Girls Conference, I heard adolescent girls talk about themselves, beauty and the media. The girls, like Diana, knew how illusory image was, and yet they acknowledged the power it has. They don't want to chase beauty, but every stimulus--advertising, movies, television, magazines--tells them to do it. Princess Diana will forever remain 36. She is frozen in time as a gorgeous ideal. But it would be a shame if this picture is all we retain of her. This was a woman who challenged royalty and who unhesitatingly touched AIDS patients. Let's not forget that though her beauty was compelling, the chase for it caused her a very painful life and, undoubtedly, an early end. MARIE C. WILSON, President Ms. Foundation for Women New York City

In Diana, we saw reflections of what we all hold most dear but fail to see in ourselves: goodness, honesty, generosity, humor, charity, humility and love. This princess broke the mold at every level of society and made an effort to show that even in this modern hustling, bustling world, we can all be human and make a difference. By example and by her death, she led us to a new understanding. There is still time to do good for others. MICHAEL R. PONIATOWSKI Daytona Beach, Fla.

The loss of a beloved symbol has exposed us to an extraordinary level of pain, perhaps because all of us have a common need to be loved for who we really are and a desire to be missed when we are gone. If we can all look inside ourselves and examine the meaning of grief, both present and past, our energies can become more available to help the rejected among us, for whom Diana was the patron saint. VICTORIA TOOKER Peoria, Ill.

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