Notebook: Nov. 17, 1997

WINNERS & LOSERS

THEY'RE BA-A-A-A-CK!

[WINNERS]

SADDAM HUSSEIN There's method in his madness. Wily dictator exploits U.N. crankiness against Uncle Sam

GEORGE BUSH Spiffy presidential library. If only he could have been so down-home and aw-shucks as Prez

DAVEY JOHNSON Orioles skipper wins American League Manager of the Year

[& LOSERS]

MADELEINE ALBRIGHT Blinking (at Saddam), still winking (at Jesse Helms) and not linking with Bill Cohen on Bosnia

BOB DOLE Haircut? Tan? New suit? Who wants an old Republican without jowls or wrinkles?

DAVEY JOHNSON Orioles skipper dumped by petulant Steinbrenner-like owner

IS THIS HAMBURGER HELPER MONTH?

The naming of months, weeks and days has become a commercially necessary but persistently annoying epidemic. In case you missed them, here are just a few--just a few, mind you--of the November monikers:

--International Creative Child and Adult Month --International Drum Month --Real Jewelry Month --1-7: National Fig Week --2: Plan Your Epitaph Day --2-8: National Chemistry Week --2-8: National Osteopathic Medicine Week --2-8: National Split Pea Week --3-7: Drug-Free Babies Week --3-7: National Notary Public Week --8: Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day --9-15: Operating-Room Nurse Week --10-16: Release Your Beauty for the Holidays Week --17: Homemade Bread Day --19: Have a Bad Day Day --20: United Nations Africa Industrialization Day --21-27: National Farm-City Week --21: World Hello Day --23-29: National Game and Puzzle Week --27: Thanksgiving --28: You're Welcome Giving Day

Source: Chase's 1997 Calendar of Events

HEALTH REPORT

THE GOOD NEWS

WEIGHT WATCH Women can cut their risk of breast cancer in half by keeping their weight stable during adulthood. Reason: body fat raises blood levels of estrogen, a hormone thought to promote the cancer

HOW NOW, MAD COW Scientists may be closer to a blood test for mad-cow disease in animals. They've come up with a new way to detect prions, the infectious agents that cause the disease. Until now, the only way to track down prions has been to perform a biopsy on the dead cow's brain

HIP FIX A blood thinner derived from leech saliva, called desirudin, reduces the risk of dangerous clots after hip-replacement surgery

Sources: Journal of the American Medical Association; Nature; New England Journal of Medicine

THE BAD NEWS

VIRAL SPIRAL Doctors have known that the human papillomavirus, a sexually transmitted infection, is linked to cervical cancer. Now it's worse. Having the infection also significantly increases chances of anal cancer

BAG THE AIR BAG Well, no, but a report concludes that in a car crash, kids under 10 face a 21% greater risk of dying from the bag's explosive force. Buckling up helps--it keeps children from lurching forward. Better yet, put them in back

PENIS PUZZLE Doctors can't explain why, but since 1970 the rate of boys born with their urinary opening in the wrong place has doubled. This peculiar defect appears in nearly 1 out of 100 male births

Sources: New England Journal of Medicine; Journal of the American Medical Association; Pediatrics

HI-TEST