People: Jan. 12, 1998

SOON-YI: STUDENT, WIFE, ACTRESS?

The dangerous thing isn't marrying the adopted daughter of his ex-lover--we were prepped for that long before WOODY ALLEN and SOON-YI PREVIN wed in Venice over Christmas. No, the dangerous part is trying to make her an actress. Allen is writing an off-Broadway show for his bride. According to the New York Post, while this type of move worked well with past loves Louise Lasser, Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow, they had the advantage of being actresses. Soon-Yi, on the other hand, may be traveling down the bumpy road taken by Tom Arnold. "He likes to mentor young people," Phil Leshin, who says he is a friend of Allen's, told the Post. "It's Pygmalion all over again."

FEUD OF THE WEEK

NOEL ("MORNING GLORY") GALLAGHER AGE: 30 HEIGHT: 5 ft. 7 in. OCCUPATION: Playing guitar for Oasis BEST PUNCH: Told Italian radio that the English royals "should all be shot" and that for a Christmas gift he would like to give the Queen "a kick up the ass."

ELIZABETH ("THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND") WINDSOR AGE: 71 HEIGHT: 5 ft. 3 in. OCCUPATION: Mostly waving BEST PUNCH: Stayed (surprise) silent. But a source at Buckingham Palace told reporters, "Mr. Gallagher should apologize. If he has any class, any at all, he will."

THE WINNER: A tie. Both Gallagher and the Queen are chummy with the popular Tony Blair

DID HE BUY SLIM JIMS TOO?

Though the "A Day in the Life of Congressman Sensenbrenner" link on his Website doesn't mention the legislator's visits to Congressional Liquors, it turns out that one of those stops may be the highlight of the Wisconsin Republican's year. Last week tightwad REPRESENTATIVE F. JAMES SENSENBRENNER JR., who has served since 1979 and has been named the National Taxpayers Union's most fiscally responsible Congressman for the past three years, won $250,000 on a Dec. 18 Quick Cash ticket. Willie McCoy, the store manager who sold the ticket, said that Sensenbrenner is a regular at the store and that "quite a number" of Congressmen play the lottery. Not all of them, however, are worth the $8 million that Sensenbrenner already has, largely because of his great-grandfather, who founded the Kimberly-Clark Corp.

ACT POORLY AT THE BEEP

How could irrepressible actor QUENTIN TARANTINO, after casting himself in all his directorial outings, not put himself in Jackie Brown? A careful listening will discover him giving a shrill, stilted delivery of lines like "end of messages" as the voice of PAM GRIER'S answering machine. Not quite as sly as Hitchcock, but a lot more pleasant than watching him play a real character.

SIGN OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM

Continuing Di's work in demystifying the royalty, the subject formerly known as Reg Dwight will be knighted SIR ELTON HERCULES JOHN.

Q&A

WILLIE NELSON just finished shooting The Hilo Country with Woody Harrelson.

Q: How often do you cut your hair?

A: When I really get so pissed off at it and I can't figure out whether I have hair or it has me. I cut it about a year ago. I'm determined to let it go this time.

Q: When did you first decide to go with the braids?

A: When it started getting in my eyes and a bandanna wasn't working. It was too long for one ponytail. By separating it into braids, it broke up the weight.