Hizzoner The Hall Monitor

It was almost too perfect. The volcanic mayor of the new and improved New York City was on his way to speak at Our Lady of Pompeii church. That's Pompeii as in the city buried under the molten lava of Mount Vesuvius. What if Rudy Giuliani, in the middle of his big civility campaign, blew his top as the gathering of seniors digested their lunch of franks and beans?

Giuliani was already three days into a meltdown in which he'd snapped at, among others, a columnist who claimed that he clocked Giuliani speeding in his GMC Suburban shortly after the mayor...