Letters: Jul. 6, 1998

WHEN SEX IS KID STUFF

"If youngsters are as promiscuous as you indicate, then we are in for some serious problems associated with divorce and broken homes." JESS BROWN Sugar City, Idaho

Your report on teen sex and what kids know was prizewinning material [SOCIETY, June 15]. I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt. The subject of sex is taboo, yet that doesn't keep my hometown from having its fair share of teen pregnancies. Many of the people here with sexually transmitted diseases are teenagers. I know a guy who got a girl pregnant and hasn't yet told his parents, even though the child is already born. He broke up with the girl and continues to have unprotected sex with others. This guy isn't learning from his mistakes. Something needs to be done. SCOTTY COPPAGE, age 17 Wichita Falls, Texas

I think your article was very biased and unfair to the majority of teens. While I acknowledge that some teens are making poor choices, most of us are making wise ones. You point the finger at the standard evils of TV and music. These are not to blame. When I was at a young age, my mom gave me "the talk" and wasn't embarrassed or hush-hush about the topic. The result is, I plan to abstain from sex until I'm married. JULIA SWEET, age 16 Mercer Island, Wash.

Your report was very concise and accurate. It depicted teen life the way it is and not the way parents wish it was. You proved the need for sex education and why it shouldn't be shunned by our educational system. People do not want to believe this is what's happening, but believe me, it is! ROBERT MAEYAERT, age 16 Dickinson, N.D.

One day last year I came home an hour earlier than expected. I found my son and his girlfriend (both had just turned 15) having sex in our backyard hot tub, music blasting, drinking wine, not using birth control, in broad daylight! After the initial shock, I immediately phoned the girl's mother (a single parent with a live-in boyfriend) and asked her to come right over. I phoned her two more times during the hour it took her to get to my home (she lives five minutes away). With parents like that, it's no wonder that so many kids are out of control. The next day I bought my son condoms. NAME WITHHELD BY REQUEST Plano, Texas

As the mother of an 18-year-old boy and a 16-year-old girl, I applaud your frank and realistic article. Parents need to confront and accept the prevalence of "casual sex" in today's society. However, this does not excuse us from cautioning our youngsters about the physical and emotional repercussions of engaging in sex without commitment. We parents can only provide guidelines, but open communication with our children will help them make wise decisions about their sexual behavior and their future. ADRIENNE COCCAGNA Cheltenham, Pa.

I am 79, but during my teenage years, we did exactly the same things that kids do today. However, we had a much harder time learning the language and methods with no TV, only music radio. ROBERT N. RADER Moore Haven, Fla.

I am troubled by today's current cultural phenomenon that has parents passively stepping back and allowing their children to be force-fed images of sex and violence. To handle these powerful ideas, they need a larger reality than childhood affords. Are we so naive as to think our children will not suffer the consequences of these messages? MAURA C. WALSH Sierra Madre, Calif.