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Position: G.O.P. Congressman from Arkansas and member of the House Judiciary Committee

Assignment: Investigate Bill Clinton

Prior Career: U.S. Attorney in Arkansas; nailed Roger Clinton on drug charges

References: "Best thing that ever happened" to Roger, according to Bill

WARNING! A moment from the Starr report: "When I was hiding out in your office...I noticed you had the new Sarah McLachlan CD [Surfacing]," wrote Monica Lewinsky to the President. "Whenever I listen to song #5 I think of you." The tune, Do What You Have to Do, has this lyric : "I'm shaken/ by the violence of existing/ for only you./ I know I can't be with you./ I do what I have to do."

HOT, HOT, HOT! Ken Starr should have cut a licensing deal for his report. One of Washington's new power eateries, McCormick & Schmick's, says cigar sales at its bar are up 110% since the report appeared. A tourist paid $250 to take home 25 Macanudos as capital souvenirs. Meanwhile, sales of Oy Vey! The Things They Say, a book Lewinsky gave Clinton, have quadrupled.

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LORI HAAS, whose daughter was wounded in the 2007 Virginia Tech shootings, on a new report finding that officials warned their families more than an hour and a half before the rest of the campus and released locked-down students who were later killed
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