Notebook

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

DAVID KENDALL Before the videotape came out: bad move. Now: genius! Figured out how Bill should play to the camera

BILL CLINTON Not Honest Abe the Railsplitter but Lyin' Bill the Hairsplitter; but now there's talk of a deal

MONICA LEWINSKY Turns out to be the Poster Girl for Young and Foolish, which, as the jurors saw, is forgivable

[& LOSERS]

LINDA TRIPP Discovers the Planet Starr is a cold one, as Ken investigates her. Also learns Monica--surprise--hates her

THE NETWORKS Hoping for drama, they blow millions airing the tedious interrogation of a testy talking head

BOB BENNETT You're the prez's big-time lawyer, but here's a flash: he tunes you out when you talk

I WANNA TESTIFY: MONICA & BILL BY THE NUMBERS

6, 15.6 Weight, in pounds and ounces, of the appendices to the Starr report, released last week by the House Judiciary Committee

4, 3 Length, in hours and minutes, of President Clinton's grand jury testimony

400 Questions asked by the prosecutors

3 Questions asked by Kenneth Starr

37 Times Clinton used the word contact to explain what did or did not happen between him and Monica Lewinsky

20 Times he referred to his initial statement about "inappropriate intimate contact" instead of answering questions about his encounters with Lewinsky

84 Times Clinton said he couldn't remember or recall

17 Times Clinton said he answered questions as "best I could"

5 Times Clinton acknowledged being "not particularly helpful" to Jones' lawyers

0 Times he invoked the Fifth Amendment

38 Number of times Clinton pointed his finger at a prosecutor while answering a question

20 Sips of water he took

14 Sips of Diet Coke he took

10 Sips of Canada Dry he took

0 Times he blew his top

10 Times Lewinsky says she performed oral sex on Clinton

2 Times she characterized that as "having sex" (also, the number of times she says he ejaculated)

1 Times she calls Clinton her "sexual soul mate"

3 Times she says she was performing oral sex that he was speaking on the phone

30 Gifts she says she gave him

18 Gifts she says she got from him

1 Hatpin he gave her that she describes as "vibrant, unique and beautiful"

$3 Value of that hatpin, as estimated by the Office of the Independent Counsel

1 Times she uses the word rat in association with Linda Tripp

1 Times she says "Ugh" in association with Tripp

3 Times she says Tripp was jealous of her

1 Times she explains Tripp's decision not to give false testimony as predicated on a comment a psychic made to "an Indian friend" of Tripp's

8/9 Date in 1995 when she says they first flirted

8/9 Date in 1974 when Richard Nixon resigned

PLUGOLA