Guy Walks into a Press Briefing...

(2 of 2)

Next came Ornstein. Peering out from behind his horn-rims, he underplayed the audience into his hands. He jabbed at last year's winner, CNBC's Chris Matthews, noting that Matthews hadn't yet picked up his prize, a case of Ritalin. He said that Newt Gingrich was going to make some commercial endorsements now, but only those befitting the dignity of his office: "So far, the only one he's accepted is from Bob's Big Boy." He confessed that his naivete had left him unprepared for this year's events: "I used to think that being in bed with Big Tobacco had something to do with PAC contributions."

The funny lines kept coming. Radio personality Jim Bohannon wondered how someone could date a woman as indiscreet as Linda Tripp. "You'd think if you unhooked you'd hear a dial tone." Kellyanne Fitzpatrick, the rather whiny Clinton critic from MSNBC, did something unique to the evening: she engaged in self-mockery, with a long riff on television "pundettes"--"someone who says the same thing over and over and over, but never wears the same dress twice"--and then, even more bravely, actually sang a smoky number called The Pundette Blues.

Cooper won. It was his year. Ginsburg came in second and Ornstein third. Some thought Ginsburg was graded a bit high. But there were no sour grapes. "When you do something like this," Ornstein said, "and people laugh, it's just--great!" Dreams do come true. The man came in a wonk, but left feeling like Howie Mandel.