Notebook: Dec. 7, 1998

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

AL GORE Janet Reno declines to appoint an independent counsel. Time to make calls about cash for 2000?

SUSAN MCDOUGAL Not guilty of bilking the Mehtas. Opportunity to get the good suit dry-cleaned before next case

RICKY WILLIAMS Texas Longhorn breaks 22-year-old football record for rushing. Hurry on, Heisman

[& LOSERS]

AUGUSTO PINOCHET UGARTE Looks like he picked the wrong hospital. Brits decide torture isn't something covered by immunity

ROSS PEROT Hulk Hogan is running for President in 2000. That's going to really splinter the crazy vote

DENNIS RODMAN He was drunk when he married Carmen Electra? And what did she have, cataracts?

DOES MOURNING BECOME ELECTRA?

You probably think the all-too-brief union between Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra is funny. But might the affair really be a Sophoclean tragedy? Consider the eerie similarities to the play Electra, circa 413 B.C.

ELECTRA

--Given her name by her mother and father, the King

--With brother Orestes, advised by important oracle, Apollo

--Distraught over the death of her father, moodily declines an invitation to a party for the maidens of her village

--Elevates herself from menial worker to triumphant, vindicated heroine

CARMEN ELECTRA

--Given her first name by the Artist Formerly Known as Prince

--Advised by important publicist, Cindy Guagenti

--Distraught over being in Salt Lake City for a basketball game, moodily declares Utah "boring"

--Elevates herself from Playboy model to B-list actress

DIPLOMACY FOR DUMMIES

Seven years of protests and threats have yet to yield positive results in dealings with the Tyrant of the Tigris. Time to bring in the secret weapon: Dr. Spock and Co.

SADDAM'S BEHAVIOR

Arguing. Saddam complains U.N. sanctions are too harsh.

"Some children get into a pattern of turning every request into a debate...Instead of trying to one-up the child with a better argument, the parent simply walks away." (Wimpy Parents: From Toddler to Teen--How NOT to Raise a Brat)

Aggressive language. Saddam says too many U.N. weapons inspectors are American.

"Some children use aggression to gain attention...Though you might find his words upsetting, you will confuse him if you respond by getting angry...A child wants to be stopped from doing harm." (Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know)

Tantrums. Saddam expels inspectors.

"If a child discovers that he can consistently override adult power, he will come to understand that he can get his way by bullying...Victory may feel sweet at the moment, but a child who feels too powerful can also feel anxious that the grownups...are actually afraid of him." (Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know)

THE U.S. RESPONSE

Threats. "General Henry H. Shelton...said the proposed strike was 'still a valid operational plan.'" (New York Times, 11/17/98)