Who Chose George?

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Bush was caught in what a longtime friend called a "heart and head" problem. His head was in the race, but his heart wasn't. Within his inner circle, especially the tight-knit, politically hard-wired Bush family, the debate cut right to the bone. His mother told an audience that if he didn't run, she'd kill him. But his brother Marvin, who has never cared for the political maelstrom, thought he'd be crazy to do it. Sometime last summer, Bush had explained to his brother that he was leaning toward a run, but he had not made up his mind. "I'm not there yet," was the quote that made the rounds in the family. Some concerns were almost biblical, the cycles of fat and lean years. Did he really want to be the one who presides over the next Bush recession, given how his father had suffered in contrast to eight years of the Reagan expansion?

And then there were the people who mattered most: Bush was not keen about subjecting his teenage daughters to the scrutiny that he and his siblings had endured in the 1970s and '80s. When he sat down with daughters Barbara and Jenna to talk about running, it was as though Chelsea Clinton was right there in the room. Would there be tabloid stories about every boyfriend, every rock concert, not to mention the Secret Service agents in the college dorm? Bush's wife Laura, a funny, private woman, was pretty blunt too. They already had a wonderful life, more than they could have imagined. Did they really want to have to ride a motorcade to go to the grocery store?

But the doubts weren't just about his daughters or his wife but about himself as well. He wasn't sure he was ready. No one admits to that publicly, but Bush came close. He has told audiences proudly that he doesn't need a poll or a focus group to know what he believes. But he also knew what he didn't know. With so much catching up to do, so much risk if he kept talking publicly about "Grecians" and "Kosovians," Bush imported the best brains in his party for a crash course on how to sound like a President.

Even some of his allies among the Governors caught a glimpse of the conflict, the flattery and fear of the whole thing. After the election, Bush went to Israel for a week with three other Governors--Racicot of Montana, Mike Leavitt of Utah and Paul Cellucci of Massachusetts. Racicot watched as crowds all over Israel and the West Bank immediately recognized Bush. They called his name as he walked by, gathered when he spoke. But Racicot could also see that the pressure on Bush to run was becoming a burden, something he was not ready to embrace. Leavitt remarked that all through the trip, Bush saw his "destiny" flash before him.

Ask anyone close to him about the moment Bush finally made peace with running, and it is uncanny how they all paint the same picture. It came in January, when he was sitting in a private prayer service before his inaugural, just friends and family. Pastor Mark Craig started preaching about duty, about how Moses tried to resist God's call, and the sacrifice that leadership requires. And as they sat there, Barbara Bush leaned over to the son who has always been most like her and said, "He's talking to you, George."