Letters: Sep. 20, 1999

LOOKING AFTER MOM AND DAD

"Caring for our parents as they grow old is a task for which no one is prepared. We learn on the spot." SUZANNE P. HIATT Fairfield, Conn.

Confetti to TIME!--for placing the perplexing topic of elder care on the nation's kitchen table [FAMILY, Aug. 30]. Writer Cathy Booth's personal story and the article on making the right choices touched the lives of millions and initiated critical conversations between generations of families, between employers and employees, and among those who provide services for seniors. Booth wrapped her personal story around our hearts and gave those of us who care for our parents the courage to break our silence and discover ways to forge a new map in uncharted territory. GAIL GOELLER Spokane, Wash.

For many middle- and lower-income individuals, bearing the cost of quality assisted living or other long-term care is about as realistic as buying a Rolls-Royce as the family car. The real long-term-care story is too often not about options but about impoverishment, the lack of choice and the loss of dignity. JON DAUPHINE, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Long Term Care Campaign Washington

No mention of adult day-care centers? What an oversight. My husband has Alzheimer's, and I can't imagine coping with this situation without one. EVE VAN STRALEN North Hollywood, Calif.

Once you take the exhausting roller-coaster ride of caring for your parents, you never view the elderly and aging in the same light again. PAMELA MCCAY JOHNSON Central Point, Ore.

As the owner of a home-care agency, I applaud your report, but it missed a crucial part of the elder-care equation. Finding and retaining good caregivers is difficult now, and as the need grows, where are the workers to come from? If we want good care for our parents (and ourselves soon enough), we're going to have to pay for it. Instead of blowing the budget surplus on a big tax cut, we should find ways to invest in those who care for our vulnerable elders. Providing decent pay, training and benefits would be a start. JUDITH B. CLINCO, R.N., B.S. Catalina In-Home Services Inc. Tucson, Ariz.

Why are we a nation obsessed with forcing our parents out of their homes and into nursing homes or alternatives, when the greatest comfort and peace of mind can be had at home, at a lower cost, with in-home caregivers? One option is a government reverse mortgage to cover costs. Most seniors desire to live and die in their homes. RICHARD SUTTON Palatine, Ill.

ANOTHER SIDE OF AGING

I am 79 years old, play golf three times a week, spend two to three hours a day on my computer and enjoy my new, medium-format camera. I'm a legislative representative for my union. My wife also leads a very active social life. So take heart, seniors. Old age doesn't have to be a rest home or doom and gloom. HAL MCCLINTOCK Pasadena, Calif.

TURKEY: AMONG THE RUINS