John Malkovich

John Malkovich has a sizable role in Being John Malkovich.

Q. If you hadn't taken the role, would it have been Being Henry Winkler?

A. No. But that's an idea. The writer didn't seem interested in changing it to someone else.

Q. In the movie, people pay to get inside your head and control you for 15 minutes. How much do you think you can get for that?

A. They pay $200 a toss. But I think that's a lot. Particularly since we're speaking only of the conscious mind.

Q. Now that you know people will pay to get inside your head, are you going to stop paying your therapist?

A. I didn't only stop paying him, I also stopped seeing him.

Q. In the movie, everyone recognizes you, but no one remembers your movies. That's so unfair. Who can forget you as St. Anne in Jennifer Eight?

A. I think you'll find the answer to that is, "A lot of people."

Q. I've read that when you were 16, you lost 60 lbs. by eating nothing but Jell-O for six months.

A. I actually lost 70 lbs.

Q. You'd get sick if you ate just Jell-O.

A. I didn't really get sick.

Q. Jell-O should drop Bill Cosby and pick you up.

A. I know. I had Jell-O every day, sometimes with some fruit in it if we were having a big fete.

Q. You didn't have a bank account in New York City because you yelled at too many tellers. How psyched are you on ATMs?

A. I like ATMs very, very much. I haven't been inside a bank in I don't know how many years.

Q. I can't imagine getting inside your head. You're kind of nuts.

A. I'm the least nuts person I know. But it still doesn't mean it's fun to be in my head.

--By Joel Stein