WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

ROGER CLEMENS Sorry, Beantown. Rocket man gets ring after long Boston drought. Pr-ou-ou-d to be a Yankee

ERICH VON DANIKEN Report: UFO author to tout shares for mystery theme park. Do they have IPOs on Mars?

DRINKERS Evidence shows a drink during heart attack can help. Ask ambulance to swing by tavern

[& LOSERS]

JESSE HELMS Never fails to amaze: orders Congresswomen out after they fight for antidiscrimination treaty

GEORGE W. BUSH Skips another N.H. debate with rivals. Message: I don't care. Won't exactly woo Granite State

FALUN GONG Beijing intensifies crackdown on followers of spiritual exercise group. Hey, we tolerate Oprah

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PAULA DEEN, Food Network chef, who was hit in the face by a ham while volunteering at an Atlanta food drive
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PAULA DEEN, Food Network chef, who was hit in the face by a ham while volunteering at an Atlanta food drive

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