JAIL BAIT How much crack does it take to get sent up for five years? The Senate held hearings in Washington last week about reducing the minimum-mandatory-sentencing (MMS) guidelines to bring the powder-cocaine limit down from 500 g to 50 g--closer to the 5 g of crack that gets you a nickel in the can.

DRUG Crack cocaine MMS AMOUNT 5 g STREET PRICE $425 USERS Urban RESULT OF INGESTING SUPPLY Death by cardiac arrest

[DRUG] Powder cocaine [MMS AMOUNT] 500 g [STREET PRICE] $55,000 [USERS] Yuppies [RESULT OF INGESTING SUPPLY] Death by cardiac arrest

[DRUG] Heroin [MMS AMOUNT] 100 g [STREET PRICE] $12,000 [USERS] Models [RESULT OF INGESTING SUPPLY] Death by forgetting to breathe

[DRUG] Crystal meth [MMS AMOUNT] 5 g [STREET PRICE] $600 [USERS] Hicks [RESULT OF INGESTING SUPPLY] Hyperactivity, then death

[DRUG] LSD [MMS AMOUNT] 1 g (liquid) [STREET PRICE] $100,000 [USERS] Phish-heads [RESULT OF INGESTING SUPPLY] Not sure, but 0.3 g killed an elephant

[DRUG] Marijuana [MMS AMOUNT] 100 kg [STREET PRICE] $215,000 [USERS] Everyone [RESULT OF INGESTING SUPPLY] Severe case of munchies

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MARTHA STEWART, when asked about the insider-trading scandal that, by her estimates, cost her company more than a billion dollars
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MARTHA STEWART, when asked about the insider-trading scandal that, by her estimates, cost her company more than a billion dollars

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