Performance of the Week

Iowa may have only seven electoral votes, but in a tight contest, it's an important battleground. (Al Gore won the state in 2000 by less than 1%.) So residents of Davenport were hardly fazed when PRESIDENT BUSH and JOHN KERRY showed up for rallies on the same day, just blocks apart. The crooks in town weren't fazed either. With the cops preoccupied, three banks were robbed.

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MARTHA STEWART, when asked about the insider-trading scandal that, by her estimates, cost her company more than a billion dollars
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Quotes of the Day »

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MARTHA STEWART, when asked about the insider-trading scandal that, by her estimates, cost her company more than a billion dollars

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