"The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."
JOHN ASHCROFT, Attorney General, in his handwritten letter of resignation to President George W. Bush
"I am not apologizing for being a gay American but rather for having let personal feelings impact my decision making and for not having had the courage to be open about who I was."
JAMES MCGREEVEY, former Governor of New Jersey, in his resignation speech in Trenton last week
"It is a pity it was used in other inadmissible conflicts."
MIKHAIL KALASHNIKOV, the Russian general who created the world's most widely distributed firearm, during a celebration of his 85th birthday
"An overly aggressive CBS News producer jumped the gun with a report that should have been offered to local stations for their late news."
CBS NEWS, in a written apology for breaking into the last minutes of the crime drama CSI: New York to report the death of Yasser Arafat; the producer responsible for the interruption was reportedly fired
"Don't answer yes to that question."
TONY BLAIR, Prime Minister of Britain, after President Bush was asked during a joint press conference at the White House last week if he thought of Blair as his poodle
"I mean, they don't want some highbrow hussy from New York City explaining to them that they're idiots and telling them that they're stupid."
ZELL MILLER, Senator from Georgia, on why the red states dislike New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd
"I'm not a highbrow hussy from New York. I'm a highbrow hussy from Washington. Senator, pistols or swords?"
MAUREEN DOWD, New York Times columnist, responding to Senator Miller's comments
Sources: AP; New York Times (2); Los Angeles Times; AP; New York Post (2)