Invasion of the Wonks

Next week MENSA, the society for those with high IQs, will hold its annual convention, dubbed the Philly Phrolics, in the City of Brotherly Love. Just weeks later the Republican Party, the society for those who dislike President Clinton, will hold their convention in Philadelphia as well. Here's how the two events stack up:

WHY THEY'RE MEETING

[Philly Phrolics] "To provide an outlet for very intelligent people to come together in a stimulating...environment"

[Republican National Convention] To provide an outlet for very intelligent people and George W. Bush to come together in an environment lacking suspense

MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS

[Philly Phrolics] Must score in top 2% on IQ test

[Republican National Convention] None

CELEBRITY MEMBERS

[Philly Phrolics] Sharon Stone, Geena Davis

[Republican National Convention] Tom Selleck, Arnold Schwarzenegger

PLANNED SPEECH TOPICS

[Philly Phrolics] How to get on Jeopardy!, Renaissance dancing and fencing

[Republican National Convention] Education, health care and Social Security

ACTIVITIES

[Philly Phrolics] Scrabble, Boggle and Monopoly; a demonstration by world-renowned domino toppler Bob Speca

[Republican National Convention] Convention Cup golf tournament for large donors; Salute to the Senate dinner buffet

WILL THERE BE A TEST?

[Philly Phrolics] Yes, for people curious to know if they qualify for membership

[Republican National Convention] Yes, for certain politicians to see if they can be pro-choice and still be considered a vice-presidential contender