People: Jul. 31, 2000

TAKE HIM OUT TO THE BALL GAME

Last week nine strangers equipped with scant food and a gallon of water among them were deposited on an uninhabited, mosquito-infested island off the Florida Keys, clueless as to when they'd be leaving. No, it wasn't the first episode of Survivor II, but rather the second attempt of Cuban baseball slugger ANDY MORALES to reach U.S. soil. Six weeks ago, the stellar third baseman tried to defect but was plucked from the sea and hauled back to his homeland, where a year earlier Castro had personally congratulated him for hitting the winning home run in an exhibition game against the Orioles. On Thursday, Morales, 25, who left behind his wife and seven-month-old son, met his new signing agent outside the INS detention center in Florida. When asked if he considered himself a political refugee, Morales answered, "No, I'm here to play baseball."

DADDY'S LITTLE POP STAR

To reach the top of today's pop charts, you need a bare midriff, jailbaiting lyrics or, failing that, you could have Don Ho for a dad. HOKU, who used to sing Tiny Bubbles onstage with her papa Don as a toddler, is now a 19-year-old bombshell midway through her first national tour of the U.S., promoting her hit single, Another Dumb Blonde. The girl-empowerment anthem contains such coming-of-age epiphanies as "Lately I've just come to find/That you're not really interested/In my heart or mind." A devout Christian and onetime Tommy Hilfiger model, Hoku--whose name, conveniently, means "star" in Hawaiian--is uncomfortable with the pop star's prescribed role as sex kitten and refuses to flaunt her body to sell more albums. After her concerts, she says, "girls in tears have come up to me and said, 'Thank you so much for making it O.K. for me to not dress trashy to be cool.'" Time to rethink your wardrobe, Britney?

LEAVES OF CASH

What becomes a legend most? Apparently these days it's a book about a battle with a chronic illness. Rumors swirled last week that bidding for MICHAEL J. FOX's memoir about his 10-year struggle with Parkinson's ended north of the $4 million mark. It will join bookshop shelves already bulging with brave tales of celebrity indisposition, including Lance Armstrong's It's Not About the Bike, detailing his struggle with testicular cancer, and in September, Fall Down, Laughing: How Squiggy Caught MS and Didn't Tell Nobody, by David Lander of Laverne & Shirley. But you don't have to be ailing to get a lot of money for your book; you could just be rich. GE chairman Jack Welch is getting $7.1 million to crank out his story when he retires next year.

FEUD OF THE WEEK

BOY ("I'LL TUMBLE 4 YA") GEORGE AGE: 39 OCCUPATION: deejay/'80s icon BEST PUNCH: After commenting on his former friend's wrinkles, the former Culture Clubber said the actor "looks like a crocodile handbag"

RUPERT ("MADONNA LOVES ME") EVERETT AGE: 41 OCCUPATION: actor/fashion fixture BEST PUNCH: Referred to ex-chum as "that big blob," and regretted "there's not a closet big enough for him to hide in"

THE WINNER: Rupert, because at least professionals do his makeup