Marital Strife--You Have To Work At It

"We need to get the message out now and tell people before they get married that it's O.K. to fight. Right now we're sending people out onto the football field and not telling them the rules." --Diane Sollee, director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, quoted by the Associated Press

AMMO WEEKEND WORKSHOPS

Sharing the fate of all health "trends," the harmonious marriage has gone the way of oat bran and the Atkins diet. What was once regarded as beneficial has proved to be less helpful than advertised or even potentially harmful to your health. Across the country, counselors are being forced to recall "happy" couples who have learned to see beyond their differences because, if you're not fighting, research suggests, your marriage is probably in trouble.

The American Marital Munitions Organization was founded on the principle that a robust marriage is a rocky one. But just as quarreling couples once struggled to achieve harmony, teaching harmonious couples to embrace discord can be equally challenging. Fortunately, ammo recently opened its first "Fight Club" to serve America's untroubled yet troubled marital population. Our series of weekend-vacation workshops not only touches on the Big Five--money, sex, children, time and in-laws--but, more important, teaches couples to unearth the antagonistic possibilities buried within their most banal interactions. ammo's workshops are limited to an enrollment of eight. The following fall 2000 sessions are currently open for enrollment:

Where Is Jim Morrison's Grave? Pere-Lachaise Cemetery, Paris; Sept. 8-10 (No French Required)

Couples will be abandoned in distant corners of the 100-acre cemetery and instructed to find Jim Morrison's grave in time to shower before their 6 o'clock dinner reservations. This workshop aims to release women's deep lack of respect for men's poor sense of direction, as well as for men's overconfidence in their ability to get lucky and their unwillingness to ask for help in any language. Couples will dine that evening at a three-star Michelin restaurant, where, no matter what they order, they will be served six courses of variously prepared offal, and their credit cards, when they attempt to pay, will be denied.

Blackie Hates the Way You Laugh The Colonial Hunting Resort and Spa, Hot Springs, W.Va.; Sept. 22-24

Each couple is given a dog and a small lunch and is instructed to hike up a nearby mountain of moderate difficulty. They are forbidden to speak to each other directly and must instead communicate through the dog, Blackie, a standard poodle. By attributing feelings to a poodle, many people (especially women) are freed from the guilt and responsibility of claiming emotions as their own. Many years' worth of complaints, injustices and dissatisfactions can be called to the surface through the use of a canine medium.

Who Will Cook the Lobster? Acadia National Park, Isle au Haut, Maine; Oct. 6-8