1. The WWF's new voter-registration slogan is:
a) Smack Down Your Vote b) A Ventura in Every Statehouse c) Can You Smell What the Electoral College Is Cooking? d) Choose or Lose, Knuckleheads
2. The eatery in this Moscow TV tower is empty because:
a) Eggs Bolshevik is way too Brezhnev b) A fire forced people to evacuate c) Denny's also has a Russian problem d) No gas mask, no helmet, no service
3. Why was Jelena Dokic's father ejected from the U.S. Open?
a) He beat Bud Collins into a pulp b) The ball machine is for tennis balls c) He threw a plate at a cafe worker d) He lost a bet to Mary Pierce's dad
4. Workers at an Australian fish wholesaler found:
a) A bloke's block in a bonzer cod b) Some ninny's noggin as fish num-num c) A man's severed head inside a fish's stomach d) All of the above
5. Which celebrity said, "Being married means I can [pass gas] and eat ice cream in bed"?
a) Elizabeth Taylor b) Mickey Rooney c) Larry King d) Brad Pitt
ANSWERS: 1-a, 2-b, 3-c, 4-d, 5-d