Five Stories: In Their Last Days On This Earth

SURROUNDED BY HER FAMILY

Lucy Shinn could not possibly have stayed much longer in Nebraska where she had raised three children and helped her husband Emil run their 45-acre farm. When Emil died six years ago, her daughter Alice Albers insisted that her mother move in with her and her husband and daughter in Melrose Park, Ill.--even though Lucy was in her mid-80s, near death from pneumonia, unable to walk and unhappy to be leaving her home. "After my father passed away, she just couldn't stay by herself," Alice said. "She was lonely and wasn't eating. My brother had died, and my sister works full time, so it would have been hard for Mildred to take care of her. She had to come here." Sending Lucy to a nursing home was never an option. "She didn't want to go, and I didn't want to send her," said Alice, the youngest of Lucy's children.

Lucy thrived in her new environment. With three generations of her family watching over her, she rapidly recovered from her pneumonia. While age created its own set of problems, it was still a shock when cancer of the urethra was diagnosed in November 1999. Lucy didn't want surgery, and her age put chemotherapy and radiation out of the question. "I didn't know how I would handle the cancer," Alice said. "I was afraid it would be too much for me." Still, the desire to have her mother remain at home was the overriding factor. Her daughter Renee, 26, who works at the National Council of State Boards of Nursing, knew something about hospice and mentioned it to her mother. When Alice asked Lucy's doctor, he was almost relieved. "He told me he had been wanting to talk to me about it," she said. It was Renee who knew it would be the best thing. "We're a really close family," Renee said as she sat with Lucy's fragile hand in hers last July. "It wasn't really a hard decision because we knew she'd need the love and support of her family."

Lucy didn't like to talk about death, although she was aware of its nearness. She picked out her casket and a dress to be buried in, and she made all her own funeral arrangements. She told Alice not to hook her up to any machines.

She liked being part of the bustle of a family and enjoyed spending time with visitors (including 10 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren) who came to see her. And she had something to look forward to. "I'm going to dance at Renee's wedding in September," Lucy declared brightly. "I don't boogie--I'm too old. But I can polka." Lucy Shinn did not get to dance that last polka. Around 2:45 p.m. on Sept. 1, after a final kiss from her daughter, she died. --By Maggie Sieger

AS READY AS HE CAN BE