1. What is ex-President Bush using to combat election-related stress?
a) A needlepoint kit b) Wintergreen Rolaids c) New, improved barfless Halcion d) Electoral College coloring books
2. A woman claims this was in her McDonald's order. What is it?
a) McSweetbreads b) a Chicken Run Happy Meal prize c) A deep-fried chicken head d) A chicken that ran afoul of the Hamburglar
3. Rock star Lenny Kravitz was mistaken for:
a) Andy Rooney, by a confused Morley Safer b) A bank robber, by Miami police c) A monogamous boyfriend, by several wafer-thin women
4. The FAA said US Airways was right to let a pig fly first class because:
a) She abated the stress of a flyer with heart problems b) Tom Arnold paid full fare c) Coach seats squeeze delicate hocks
5. Canada's Prime Minister Jean Chretien won on what platform?
a) 54[degrees] 40", or not b) Blame Manitoba c) Sustained mediocrity d) National unity
ANSWERS: 1-b, 2-c, 3-b, 4-a, 5-d