Election 2000 Your Final Exam

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1. Where was James Baker headed when he received the call asking him to go to Florida to supervise the recount?

a To the Vitalis factory for monthly industrial application b To go hunting with King Juan Carlos of Spain and former Prez Bush c To the Death Star d He was already in West Palm, cruising for sweet Estelle Getty-style action

2. George W. Bush's first-ever quote in the New York Times was:

a "Only a cigarette burn," referring to the brand his fraternity gave to new pledges, in 1967 b "Why do you keep writing things down?" to a Times reporter in 1998 c "Freebird!" at a Marshall Tucker Band show, in 1974 d "Was it not Shakespeare's King Richard III who said, 'So wise so young, they say, do never live long'?" in 1993

3. The Supreme Court, in its opinion, argued that:

a Underwear beneath robes is totally unconstitutional b The Florida ruling violated equal protection and due process c David Boies' hairline is even higher than Helen Hunt's d They can make anyone they want the President

4. This man is:

a Examining a disputed ballot b Looking at the only vote Moochie Norris got for All-Star starting point guard c Losing hair as you look at him d Freaked out by nude photos of Dom DeLuise

5. Al Gore will now:

a Go back to Tennessee and mend fences b Wander aimlessly around the country with a calculator and pad asking, "Did you vote for me?" c Be longed for by the American public d Hang out with second-string Jewish sidekick Art Garfunkel

6. Which of the following was Al Gore's campaign slogan?

a The Less-Spoiled Spoiled White Guy b Hottest First Daughters Ever c I'll Look Great on Money d Fighting for Us

7. Whom did Al Gore hire as a special consultant, and why?

a Lou Brock, to help him get a good lead b Naomi Wolf, to transform him into an alpha male c Naomi Judd, just to keep her close d Don Cornelius, to help him get funky

8. The day after the election, George W. Bush:

a Administered numerous purple nurples to Jeb b Listened to Joni Mitchell's Chalk Mark in a Rainstorm over and over and over again c Developed a Texas-size boil on his cheek d Wondered aloud if he could still have an Inauguration party, since it would be a shame for all those shiny balloons to go to waste

9. Jesse Jackson is:

a Uncomfortable being so close to the bushes b Trying to book himself on Blues Clues c Coordinating a march on the Florida state capitol d Still protesting

Answers: 1b. 2a. 3b. 4a. 5a. 6d. 7b. 8c. 9c.