WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

GERALD FORD His Defense Sec'y gets old job, and cohort Cheney is V.P. Can Chevy Chase get his gig back at SNL?

MADONNA Gains Brit hubby in media-free ceremony. That fake English accent really paid off

PAT AND LEANNE Koalas kidnapped by teens return to San Francisco Zoo and go on eucalyptus binge

[& LOSERS]

JAY WALKER Priceline founder sees stock plunge, cuts staff, quits. Now singing in Priceline ads: fat lady

MICHAEL JORDAN Stumbling as Washington Wizards partner. The team's .167 win percentage? Airball.

NEW YORK Empire State slips behind Texas in Census and loses two House seats. At least it has Hillary

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PAULA DEEN, Food Network chef, who was hit in the face by a ham while volunteering at an Atlanta food drive
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Quotes of the Day »

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PAULA DEEN, Food Network chef, who was hit in the face by a ham while volunteering at an Atlanta food drive

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