News Quiz Jan. 8, 2001

1. The most recent U.S. Census data revealed that:

a) Delaware may as well close up shop b) Whitey's salad days are numbered c) No one answered the "Which Golden Girl would you sleep with?" question d) The U.S. population is bigger than ever

2. George W. Bush is:

a) Holding a fish previously caught by Gerald Ford b) Hypnotized by the haunting voice of Billy Bass c) Showing off a redfish he caught with his father d) The first man to accidentally stab a fish in the mouth

3. Zimbabwe airport police nabbed a marijuana smuggler after noticing her:

a) Trying to smoke a carry-on bag b) Prominent Born to Bong tattoo c) Unusually large and lumpy butt d) Request for a middle seat between David Crosby and Method Man

4. This logo is for:

a) NASA's "Freak Out Congress into Giving Us a Bigger Budget" drive b) The Las Vegas 51s Triple-A baseball team, named after Area 51 c) Dick Gephardt's '04 presidential campaign d) A Grateful Dead reunion tour

5. The San Francisco Examiner's masthead:

a) Proclaimed "25% More Newspapery!" b) Boasted "An Often Accurate Source of News" c) Misspelled San Francisco d) Listed David E. Kelley as "creative consultant"

ANSWERS: 1-d, 2-c, 3-c, 4-b, 5-c