Were You Not Invited?

The 2001 Academy Awards managed to pass into history without any significant tasteless, or truly memorable, moments. BJORK did lay an egg on the red carpet, and we gazed upon an uncharacteristically lucid BOB DYLAN, his majestic cragginess beamed via satellite from Australia. But most of the surreal celebrity high jinks were reserved for the Vanity Fair postparty at Mortons, where a single terrorist bomb could have instantly made Drew Carey the most powerful man in show business. At the bash, TOM CRUISE clung to his publicist, and Calista Flockhart, Lucy Liu and Lara Flynn Boyle formed the world's skinniest posse near the dance floor. The room froze briefly when SEAN (PUFFY) COMBS tracked down JENNIFER LOPEZ and new boyfriend CHRIS JUDD, but Puffy merely gave J.Lo a gentle peck on the cheek. Soon COURTNEY LOVE was throwing a high-pitched fit because her manager couldn't get into the party; DENISE RICH was expertly dodging a photo op with MONICA LEWINSKY; and old guys Hugh Hefner, Donald Trump and LARRY KING meandered with their decades-younger lady escorts. Yes, that is Larry King's tongue.