O BROTHER, WHAT ART THOU DOING IN ALLEN'S PANTS?
The Philadelphia 76ers star guard and hopeful hip-hop artist ALLEN IVERSON leads the league in steals per game, but it seems he had some Sixers competition. Last week it was revealed that John Croce, the 76ers' strength-and-conditioning coach and younger brother of team co-owner Pat Croce, had resigned from the team in January after a locker-room videotape showed him executing a dunk in Iverson's pants pockets for spare cash. (Iverson was not in the pants at the time.) Video cameras had been installed after players complained of missing cash. "I felt sick, physically sick," said the elder Croce upon viewing the tape; he told his brother to resign or be fired. John Croce did resign, citing pursuit of a new job, and a forgiving Iverson didn't press charges. Neither did the Sixers organization, though Pat Croce says he hasn't spoken to his brother since January. Iverson--also the league's top scorer--has a six-year, $70.9 million contract. Let's hope John Croce's final score wasn't on payday.
Once upon a time, there was an overly ambitious p.r. exec named SOPHIE WESSEX (alias Sophie Rhys-Jones, alias Countess of Wessex, a.k.a. wife of Prince Edward). One evening she met a handsome Arab, whom the Countess charmed so he would live happily ever after as her client. Alas for her! Her future intended (client) was actually white-robed undercover reporter Mazher Mahmood, hired by the ruthless press baron Rupert Murdoch to tape their talk. The villain offered Sophie a choice: have a deeply personal chat with the News of the World, and the tapes would be hers. Or else. And so it was done. But alack! A Murdoch rival, the Mail on Sunday, printed "excerpts" overheard by bitter Wessex employees--including Sophie allegedly calling Cherie Blair, the Prime Minister's wife, "absolutely horrid horrid horrid," and boasting about her likeness to Princess Diana (whom Sophie then also allegedly dissed). Moral: Beware the wolf in sheik's clothing.
UNEASY LIES THE HAIRSTYLE
JENNIFER ANISTON fiercely despised being defined by her hairdo, so she impulsively chopped it into a bob not long after she married Brad Pitt. "I did it mainly to relieve me of the bondage of self," she tells May's Vanity Fair, sounding very Naomi Wolf. Umpteen fashion magazines raved about it. But it turns out she hates this new look. No, wait. HATES it. Truth be told, as a top British hairdresser noted, it's less than flattering to Aniston's long chin. "It's just not me. I hide behind my hair," she says. "It's my shield." Other famous faces--KATE MOSS, CHRISTY TURLINGTON, left, and Stella McCartney, to name a few--turned to supershort cuts this spring. Fledgling models have also taken the dare, but these are not Janet Reno do-it-yourselfers. Hmmm. If hemlines are indexed to a sagging economy, can short cuts be too? And if so, how do you afford the maintenance?
WHAT'S THAT FREQUENCY AGAIN?