1. Paleontologists in China have discovered:

a) the deep-fried carcass of General Tso b) evidence that dinosaurs developed feathers before birds did c) you cannot, in fact, dig to the U.S.

2. This man:

a) was voted most photogenic b) already devoured Miss Liechtenstein c) has not worked since Don Juan DeMarco d) is the official swimsuit photographer for Miss Universe

3. After deplaning in Canada, Prince Charles:

a) buried his face in raw meat b) paid off a Mountie to rough up his mother c) disinfected his feet to prevent the spread of foot-and-mouth disease

4. British police are learning magic in order to:

a) make the Irish disappear b) better track the friggin' Muggles c) increase their communication skills d) make better use of their funny hats

5. IBM's new, smarter-than-Deep Blue computer is called:

a) the Tom Wopat Computin' Machine b) eLiza c) Deepest Bluest d) Apple

ANSWERS: 1-b, 2-d, 3-c, 4-c, 5-b

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TAREQ AND MICHAELE SALAHI, a climbing socialite couple from Virginia, in a joint Facebook post, after having allegedly crashed the Obamas' first state dinner without an invite
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TAREQ AND MICHAELE SALAHI, a climbing socialite couple from Virginia, in a joint Facebook post, after having allegedly crashed the Obamas' first state dinner without an invite

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